Wednesday, February 28, 2007
More of the FSM
Everyone take a minute of time, buy a cup of noodles... Bow your heads and pray...
"WE thank thee for your noodily goodness, and allow us to enjoy this bowl of most wholesome and delicious noodles... rAmen..."
And also, remember his holy words... Throw away the ten commandments and embrace the dawn of the new age!!! (no offense meant, this is purely added for effect)
The Eight "I'd Really Rather You Didn'ts"
- I'd Really Rather You Didn't Act Like a Sanctimonious Holier-Than-Thou Ass When Describing My Noodly Goodness. If Some People Don't Believe In Me, That's Okay. Really, I'm Not That Vain. Besides, This Isn't About Them So Don't Change The Subject.
- I'd Really Rather You Didn't Use My Existence As A Means To Oppress, Subjugate, Punish, Eviscerate, And/Or, You Know, Be Mean To Others. I Don't Require Sacrifices, And Purity Is For Drinking Water, Not People.
- I'd Really Rather You Didn't Judge People For The Way They Look, Or How They Dress, Or The Way They Talk, Or, Well, Just Play Nice, Okay? Oh, And Get This In Your Thick Heads: Woman = Person. Man = Person. Samey = Samey. One Is Not Better Than The Other, Unless We're Talking About Fashion And I'm Sorry, But I Gave That To Women And Some Guys Who Know The Difference Between Teal and Fuchsia.
- I'd Really Rather You Didn't Indulge In Conduct That Offends Yourself, Or Your Willing, Consenting Partner Of Legal Age AND Mental Maturity. As For Anyone Who Might Object, I Think The Expression Is Go F*** Yourself, Unless They Find That Offensive In Which Case They Can Turn Off the TV For Once And Go For A Walk For A Change.
- I'd Really Rather You Didn't Challenge The Bigotted, Misogynist, Hateful Ideas Of Others On An Empty Stomach. Eat, Then Go After The B*******.
- I'd Really Rather You Didn't Build Multimillion-Dollar Churches/Temples/Mosques/Shrines To My Noodly Goodness When The Money Could Be Better Spent (Take Your Pick):
- Ending Poverty
- Curing Diseases
- Living In Peace, Loving With Passion, And Lowering The Cost Of Cable
I Might be a Complex-Carbohydrate Omniscient Being, But I Enjoy The Simple Things In Life. I Ought To Know. I AM the Creator.
- I'd Really Rather You Didn't Go Around Telling People I Talk To You. You're Not That Interesting. Get Over Yourself. And I Told You To Love Your Fellow Man, Can't You Take A Hint?
- I'd Really Rather You Didn't Do Unto Others As You Would Have Them Do Unto You If You Are Into, Um, Stuff That Uses A Lot Of Leather/Lubricant/Las Vegas. If The Other Person Is Into It, However (Pursuant To #4), Then Have At It, Take Pictures, And For The Love Of Mike, Wear a CONDOM! Honestly, It's A Piece Of Rubber. If I Didn't Want It To Feel Good When You Did It I Would Have Added Spikes, Or Something.
LOL
Labels: Flying spaghetti monster
Posted by Chu Ming at 9:30 PM
Monday, February 26, 2007
If you think IPUs were bad...
Ok lol, IPU are nothing compared to the power of the Flying spaghetti monster...All hail his noodliness!!!
Take note that 19th of September is "talk like a pirate day" and we should all do so because it pleases his noodliness very much, as pirates are ideal and wholesome people...
see the insanity here...
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Flying_spaghetti_monster
Labels: Flying spaghetti monster
